First times

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i thought i was so in love with you back then

I thought the way your blue eyes glistened

under the orange summer haze

was the most incredible thing I’d ever seen

the soft cleft on your lip

and the half smile you had stitched onto your face

made my stomach flutter

Here’s to first clumsy kisses

rolling around hidden in tall grass

evening gloom

sun kissing our hands

intertwined

oh i miss those simpler days, those first-time loves

those first-time i-want-yous

first time i think i want you in adult way

those first times i felt

kissing you turns me to fire

and i think my body wants to feel your hands

oh i miss those soft summers

first-time drinking summers

first-time legal summers

first-time secret love summers

man, i thought i was so in love with you

and I was.

I was in love with the way you treated me

for the first-time

like a woman

When they leave

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When they leave you, don’t keep fragments of them in your purse.

Take out the old train tickets from journeys to see each other,

and take out the old receipts from your round of drinks together in dark little pubs.

Don’t let their forgotten jacket linger in your wardrobe,

and don’t let the old pair of trainers they left on your shoe rack catch dust.

Don’t you dare wear their stray t-shirts at night, convincing yourself its just for a moment — to reminisce.

Don’t hold on to the memory of their kisses, or the tender way they spoke your name like butterflies.

Let your heart only sometimes ache with the bittersweet pang of the end.

Know that you’re better for it,

happier for it,

wiser for it,

and anchored to nothing else but your own self and your own freedom.