A life like this 

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I never could have imagined a life like this

A life where boys pine for my affection

A life where vodka becomes one of my favourite friends

A life where coping mechanisms turned from ice cream to drugs

A train wreck of a life – that would keep me awake at night. Craving a boy 600 miles away and stroking my pillow, imagining his face

A life where my best friend turned to lover and then to someone I sometimes don’t know if I can take

A life where I became company under covers, a cross country booty call

a world that killed my ability to execute senseless naivety and hope

A world that made me cold in my warmth

A world where I can stand on my own two feet –

intoxicated by the demons that stray in the shadows.

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