I’m trying


I know its not fair

and that the way I am inside

changes my perceptions of us

That I’m sometimes erratic and manic and self-consumed

that I can’t tell which parts of me are real

But I know despite wanting to run

wanting the distance

wanting to disappear and

drown in the disconnection

Something about you keeps me anchored

And I can’t deny it

Even when my mind does, and

even when I want to try

My heart knows you’re there

So I’ll repeat the same words to myself

and painfully try to keep you

Do I care? Yes.

Can I be with you? I’m trying.


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